The Leadership Strength of Both Hands

My husband and I ended our weekend seeing the latest Sherlock Holmes movie. I like Sherlock. He is unpredictable, given to many quirks, always observing the landscape around him, and smart as a whip. Albeit, he uses his smarts in ways many might not consider necessary for good leadership.

I also like Dr. Watson. He's reliable, well spoken, seeks to engage in satisfying relationships, caring of others, and, like Sherlock, also smart.

What I like best, though, is the combination of Sherlock and the good doctor. They are, together, stronger than they would be if separate from one another. And, while they can be irritable toward each other, they are tremendously loyal. Loyal nearly to a fault. Like when Watson decided to accompany Holmes even after Sherlock took ... shall we say "liberty" with Watson's new wife. You'll have to see the movie to understand that reference :-).

In the end, what makes this pair enjoyable to watch is the way they play to each other's strengths. One is the left hand, one is the right hand. And both hands are needed for success.

Playing to our strengths is, in my opinion, an exceptionally bright way to excel at leading. Making the "most" of your "most" pushes you and moves you into places you might not otherwise consider going.

What are you good at? How often do you push that out in front of others? Does your right hand need a left hand in order to get your strengths out in the open and used more fully?

Decide to be planful in the coming new year and extend yourself toward another. Ask them to be your right hand, perhaps offer to be their left hand. Whichever hand is needed - shake it! And enjoy the benefits of partnering your strengths.

Who Is Your Longstreet?

I enjoyed a good presentation on leadership lessons from the view of historical figures yesterday. Jeff Appelquist, author of Sacred Ground, Leadership Lessons from Gettysburg and The Little Bighorn, offered us perspective on leadership effectiveness through the six dimensions he has identified and written on.

Of particular interest for me was the dimension that spoke to relationships and trust. The primary component Jeff relayed for this dimension was the importance of asking for and accepting honest feedback. The example he used was the relationship between Confederate Army commander Robert E. Lee and his First Corps commander, James Longstreet. Lee and Longstreet were fortunate to have served together for many years and knew each other extremely well. They were commrades and also good friends.

Longstreet is quoted in Jeff's book as saying, "I consider it a part of my duty to express my views to the commanding general." So, where the battle of Gettysburg was concerned, Longstreet did just that. He expressed a clear difference of opinion from Lee's. It's noted that Lee appreciated and had accepted Longstreet's advice in times past. But that was not to be the case for the Gettysburg battle. Lee stuck to his plan and, in the end, lost the battle.

My point in briefly sharing this bit of history is that even though Lee did not follow Longstreet's advice in this case, he knew he needed opposing views to be voiced. While the fate of this battle was not destined to be won by Lee and his troops, in many other cases Lee hearing Longstreet was equally crucical in a positive direction.

So, here's the question - who's your Longstreet? Who can you count on to offer you honest feedback? Feedback that both cheers you on and challenges you, at the same time. Each one of us has the potential and opportunity to lead ourself well. But we make progress more consistently, and with greater efficiency, if we invite in a Longstreet.

Don't lead yourself, your team, your family, or your organization in a vacuum. If you have a Longstreet in your midst, seek their advice. Heed it or not, but always seek it. If you don't have a Longstreet, start searching. They will be complimented and you'll be better for it.

Leadership Effectiveness and Self-Confidence

Leadereship effectiveness and self-confidence ... what's the connection? I'll go out on a limb here and say right up front that there is a real connection between being an effective leader and having self-confidence. And I'm saying that just from my own personal experience and the interactions I've had with business professionals in my years of consulting and coaching. I don't need any research to tell me that, I just know it.

However, it is always so nice to see research that affirms what we have long felt and that's where a recent HBR Blog Network post comes in. This particular post, by clinical psychologist Leslie Pratsch, speaks to the connection between self-confidence and women in leadership roles. Near the end of the post, she says, "the correlation between self-confidence and leadership effectiveness is overwhelmingly statistically significant for women."

I believe the connection between self-confidence and leadership effectiveness is impactful for both men and women. Albeit, there are gender differences in this area of leadership competence
just as in other areas of competence.

What do you think? Is the confidence/effectiveness connection greater for women than men?

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/11/women_leaders_need_self-confidence.html?referral=00563&cm_mmc=email-_-newsletter-_-daily_alert-_-alert_date&utm_source=newsletter_daily_alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=alert_date

Confidence is Like a Muscle

"Confidence is like a muscle," says, Scott Litchfield of WJM Associates, as reported by John Baldoni in an old blog post from 2009. John goes on to say, "I like that analogy for two reasons. First, it connotes that confidence comes from within ; it is something we can work on. Second, it puts leaders who must demonstrate confidence in order to attract followership on notice that it is their responsibility to nurture it."

I agree with John's sentiment that confidence comes from within. And, if we agree that confidence is like a muscle, we can agree that as we work that muscle it becomes stronger. I believe this is important for all of us, not just those in a formal position of leadership. Leading yourself with confidence requires being intentional about leading any effort well. Building your confidence muscle can allow you the opportunity to be very influential.

Lead yourself with intention inside the walls of your household and see how your family grows stronger through your example. Lead yourself with a clear aim at church and watch how others appreciate what you model. Lead yourself with the goal of making a positive impact at school, in politics, in your community, with your neighbors, as you drive down the highway, while you check out at the grocery store. Opportunities to lead yourself well are endless! And so it is with bulking up your confidence like a muscle. Every time you lead well it is as though you are lifting a weight of confidence.

You lead well, your confidence muscle grows stronger. The stronger you are, the better you feel about leading yourself. The connection is real and very powerful. Recognize that your can build your confidence like a muscle and start pumping weights today!

Horse Play Leadership Lesson #2

A few days back, I penned a blog explaining that my new found adventure, learning to ride horse, has offered me the chance to grow my confidence. Well, here is this week's lesson in leadership from my horse riding experience - equipment matters!

Paying attention to equipment is a key piece of enjoying a horse ride. I've been jumping around using different saddles for about two months now and frankly, getting tired of it. I just want a saddle that works, end of story. But here's the deal ... the saddle needs to work for both of us - me and the horse. Without both of us being as comfortable as possible, we'll not get the smooth ride I'm looking for. So, it's worth the effort to search and find "the right fit." Yes, I said it "right fit." That Jim Collins guy (author of famed book Good to Great) said it best, "right fit" really does matter.

So, here's the transition. Do you have the equipment to lead yourself in ways that help? Take a second to sit back and ask yourself the "right fit," question. Do you fit well in the various roles you take on? If not, consider the equipment equation. You may find you need to invest a bit in yourself. If that is the case, don't hesitate! Growing yourself offers the reward of greater self confidence and that's a great payback!

Cooperation, Not Competition

Early in my business career I was given the opportunity to lead others. While working as a teller at a small credit union, I was promoted to the job of teller supervisor. Yahoo, a raise in pay was in the works! And along with it some new work activities which was fine by me, I like challenges.

As I shifted gears and took responsibility for learning new tasks, I rather expected that my friends would be right alongside me just as they always had. But the energy in the office was different. What, exactly, had changed so much anyway? To cut to the chase, two things had changed. My position and me.

I started to notice things from my changed view of supervising and wanted to make changes ... all in the name of improving things, of course. But the manner in which I stepped out to initiate improvement was less than, shall we say, motivating to the very people I liked to relax with at the end of the week.

I don't think any of my staff would have categorized me as a tryant, I'm not brassy and confrontation is not something I seek. But all the same, the dynamics of our relationship had changed and I needed to recognize that. So the real challenge before me was not learning the new work activities, but creating a new relationship that could work for all of us. As the supervisor, I needed to lead that effort.

I stayed on at this credit union for six years and gained a tremendous amount of valuable experience. Each step growing my confidence and broadening my view of what it meant to work in cooperation, not in competition, with my coworkers. This period of time in my career is where the idea of mentoring started to take hold. Mentoring across your peer network, mentoring direct reports, and, in some cases, mentoring up to the boss.

Do you have a work experience that, early on, helped shape who you are today? Share your experience. When you share the learning, we all benefit!

A Mini-Step of Confidence

I love the coaching work I do. Why? Because I get to both challenge and encourage people to use their potential to grow their confidence and become stronger leaders of self. I am unwavering about my view that every person has potential. And, every person has a voice to use that potential to influence their circumstances. When we use our potential our confidence naturally takes a mini-step forward. Take enough mini-steps and pretty soon your contributions to the world (either personal or professional) are increasing in volume and value.

In the past year, I've taken up horse riding lessons. My family is well acquainted with horses, it's just been me holding back all these years. Each time I saddle up and ride, I am dipping into my personal well of potential. A completed ride is what I would call a "mini-step" of growing my confidence. The confidence grows as the activity increases ... not necessarily as the activity goes well. In fact, one of my best lessons was when my horse was pretty grumpy. The mini-step forward was that her being crabby did not throw me off my game. I figured out, in a small way, how to handle her and that was the victory.

What about you? Where are you dipping into your well of potential? Are you staying aware of all the mini-steps you are taking?

Difficult People - What To Do?

As evidenced in a recent blog post I read by Tony Schwarz, seen on the Oct 12 HBR Blog Network, there are many opinions about the best way to deal with difficult people, especially in the workplace and especially where leadership is concerned.

One blogger comment that I appreciated offered the idea of "not letting a difficult person rent space in your head." The idea being, we have only so much mental and emotional energy to spend each day. Is it worth it to spend your energy on the difficult person?

I believe that many times what bothers me most about difficult people is some piece of their attitude or action is a reflection of myself. Yikes, I hate when that happens. But some days, you may well decide it is time to deal with the knucklehead straight on. In that case, I agree with those blogger comments that suggested preparing yourself to do that well. Jumping in without advance thinking likely won't get you the result you want.

So here is my two cents worth of preparation advice, ask yourself "how will what I say or do help?" Will I be helped? Will the other person be helped? If there is little to gain by your comments or actions, decide to let it ride. But if there is a real chance to improve the negativity, by all means get yourself ready to have that conversation.

What advice do you have for dealing with difficult people?